I think the theory is that extreme independence isn't mentally healthy or efficient. That some people have maybe a bad childhood lets say so they never learn to have a safe dependency on anyone. So... again me just talking out of my ***... I think these therapists want to mimic a loving parent figure to get you feeling dependent, which supposedly all humans crave and need for a feeling of connectedness and mutuality... and then to gently push you away because being super dependent isn't cool either. The idea being some day you'll be able to go and feel dependent with someone and have that super connectedness and still be able to walk away and fend for yourself without curling up in a ball, like the so called "secure" adult is.