I have the exact same problem! I've never met anyone else who feels the way I do, so I really appreciate your post. I'm a lesbian so my problem is finding women to date that I find attractive, which actually makes the pool of potential dates even smaller. For instance, I went on two dates last week-- both women said they were attracted to me, and I wasn't attracted to either. One of them I really liked as a person (we could be friends) but I would never find her physically attractive. When I was younger, if I found someone I liked personality wise I would give it a shot because people always say "if you like someone, they will become more attractive." Well, for me, it doesn't work that way. It just doesn't. I also want to date someone with substance (intelligence, career, drive, integrity, emotional capacity, etc) so finding someone I find physically attractive-- who also has substance-- is even more difficult. In fact, it often feels downright impossible. However, I know from past experiences that it is far better to be single than to date the wrong person. I was in a 5 1/2 year relationship with someone I was never physically attracted to because I honestly didn't think I would ever find someone I was attracted to! Finally, I did the right thing and ended that relationship-- and, about a year later, I met someone I was attracted to. It didn't work out for other reasons, but it showed me that finding someone I found attractive was possible. Just very rare. In my life, I've only dated three women I was attracted to. I have one celebrity crush as well but, clearly, that isn't a real life option. Personally, I'm holding out until I do meet someone I'm attracted to on evey level-- but I know it may take a LONG time! I've talked to my therapist about it, and she doesn't think there is anything wrong with me. She thinks that I want someone who has as much to offer as I do and-- given the small dating pool for femme lesbians-- she thinks there really aren't that many options out there for me. But, as she says, it only takes one!