Lately in the past 2 weeks I've been doing, terrible, in ways to comfort myself which I know is idiotic, have been either taking a lot of over the counter pills (100 multivitamin pills in one week (to cause hypovitaminosis) and a whole bottle of Nyquil in one day) and constant burning myself on-top of picking the wounds.

My emotions is like a coin being flipped every hour and ranges from happy to suicidal ideation (the pills).

However, I cannot go to the hospital or see a doctor. It costs me roughly $400 - $600 in Canada (not a Canadian citizen) which is more then what I earn in a week which then, in turn causes my emotions yet again to skyrocket out of control and makes me, yet again, wanting to commit suicide or continue hurting myself.

It's extremely ****ed up and becoming unbearable to even live with.