Gloria,
I am so so so sorry that I have not been able to respond to this post until now. I was housesitting for my grandmother all last week and did not have access to a computer.
First and foremost you need to listen to your heart. Having a mental illness is NO EXCUSE for Domestic Violence. Second IMHO this is no reason to try to fix things with him. Batterers do not get better unless they are in a batterer program, and even then I for one believe that "once a batterer always a batterer." I do not think that they can be completely treated without an intensive program. Thirdly I strongly feel that you need to find another T. This situation is not turning out to be a healthy one for you.
This is about you and your kids and this man is not good for any of you. If he is willing to go into a program then maybe things could work...maybe, but do not let your T tell you that ADHD is the reason why he is behaving the way that he is. Being abusive is a choice.

Take care sweetie and I am here,
Jessica

"Take these chances. Place them in a box until a quieter time..." ~DMB