Am not going jogging for the second day in a row. Told myself I was going to go three times a week, and if I don't go today it'll only be two. I hope I am not giving up on jogging altogether. I know it's got to be beneficial for me. I'm telling myself that tomorrow after ECT I'll go and that it's not the end of the world if I have a week where I only go twice. Part of me feels like I've been jogging but still so depressed so why bother. But the reality is maybe my depression would be even worse without the jogging.

It is so very hard, this depression, as we all know. The days just seem so long and everything seems like such a struggle. Yuck. I just want it to go away. The times that I feel good and optimistic are so fleeting. I think I've gotten worse since this job I really wanted appears to be falling through and now I have no idea how much longer it'll be that I'm stuck struggling to fill up my day with activities. My default activity is facebook and much of the time I can't bring myself to do anything else even though I feel so useless doing it.

Yuck is all I can say. I'm so envious of people who don't have to deal with depression. I've been coming on here lately because I need to feel a sense of community with others who are suffering.