i stopped my anti-d's recently like about 4mnths now under guidence with my doc cos of physical stuff going on and well even thou physical probs cleared up and i coodve started meds again (goodness knows i really did need them) i was too butt headed to start thinking whats the point and i guess my doc couldnt really fight me on it althou on number of occassions she pushed the hospital thing boy am i glad she didnt make me and involuntary client of mental health services... sheesh
anyway im really unwell
just cant do it
really need the meds need help
althou i still havnt taken any valium (i still get to use it)
and its been 5days since i last took some

im losing time often and the depression is getting real bad again
i found a new cut damn alters
and i cant find a script anywhere
so now i gotta go see doc again
who is gonna snap cos i not even gone back to T and its been a year or so
my god im such a mess
i cant even write a clear post
and now where do i pull the energy to go admit defeat to my doc get pills and make another T appt...

or is all this the stress of a new job new ppl
playing roles everyday to please society

meh