Hi, CarefulHands. I think it can take a long time and be a slow process (rather than no you cannot talk versus yes you can talk) to learn to communicate with T. I was with mine for 9 years and just starting to be able to when we had to terminate because I was moving too far away, had a new job, etc. But I came back later, for another 9 years and it all worked out well.

I would work at praising yourself and how you work now rather than being disappointed and down on yourself about it? You are well defended! Your Self is not going to let anything hurt you! I use to think of it like I was a castle and could lower the portcullis, raise the drawbridge, cue the alligators in the moat and men with boiling pitch on the ramparts before my therapist could even blink next :-) Recognize that, that you do freeze and the Ice Queen has nothing on you The trick is to start playing with that, tell yourself you can freeze at any moment but right now you want to "listen" or say a few words more, or admit to yourself why you are so scared, etc. and start enjoying yourself and how you work. Like the Psalm 139 in the Bible says, we are "fearfully and wonderfully made". You are great, now, as you are. You are in therapy now to learn how to use it all is all. It's your magic castle, you're the magician. You can control how it all works, you just have to pay attention, learn how and practice, practice, practice.