I cannot imagine my husband being violent and have only been hit/abused in that way by my stepmother which messed with my self esteem a lot but my therapist and husband helped that. I cannot imagine being attracted to a man like that in the first place; not that they would show they were violent at first/when dating but I knew my husband 5+ years before we married and knew how he treated other women and saw how he treated me, knew his family and friends, etc. I am always curious when I see on television women who don't really "know" their boyfriends/husbands and the person does not have a family or is somewhere else the person never sees, knows anyone from, etc. I would be suspicious.