Quote:
Originally Posted by licketysplit
I think connection is vital, and so is community and belonging. I just don't see it as polarized--dependency vs independence. There is also interdependence, which is probably more where I fall. I love and care about people (and animals), and it feels much better when I don't feel dependent on reciprocal behavior. If they do reciprocate, that's wonderful. If they don't, that's fine too. It's all in flux. I have less stress when I do life this way.
The important thing is not to make anyone feel there is something wrong them because of what works for them in relationship to others. As for therapy, it makes it harder to find that good match.
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But I'm not sure that all relationships can be balanced, some relationships, like the therapy relationship are inherently unequal. Does interdependence required a level playing field? It seems to me that a relationship where the power is not very equal dependency is likely to occur, even if there is some exchange with in the relationship.
And I'm not sure if it is really possible to always be ok regardless of weather or not someone reciprocates. There certain situations where the other person not reciprocation would not be ok under any circumstance. For example, I bought my husband a number of Christmas gifts. If it was Christmas morning and I found out that he hadn't gotten me anything I really would not be ok with that, or able to accept him just not reciprocating.