Quote:
Originally Posted by missbella
I think theory can convolute something that is simply a straight line.
I would not call sending a client a video a dual relationship, I'd call it a boundary crossing. I understand he could be sanctioned for it. Likewise, his manhood and sexuality have no relevance to you or your treatment
It sounds like a gray situation because you've had a long relationship. You recently wrote about his "fantasies" and effusive flattery. Are you in a position simply to tell him to "knock it off" like a peer might do in a sexual harassment case? If you can't talk like peers, then I hope you find some assistance, because I believe most therapists would view this is very wrong. (I know it's tougher when 1) you're inside it 2) the relationship is colored so much by analysis.)
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There are a lot of good points here, most notably that you refer initially, and seemed more concerned about a possible "dual relationship" regarding his role as a mentor or peer rather than what is very clearly a boundary violation. Since you're in the field I think you've learned the ethics and probably know what this situation really is on an intellectual level. Emotionally however, it seems like you're torn (understandably so) since you've had a good relationship with him.
He's not so old that you'd attribute it to slight dementia although it's not unheard of. It's also not unusual for accomplished, powerful men to seek sexual conquests with women and to also believe that they are somehow above the law. He sees a different side to you now and identifies you less as a patient - but you are and he needs to be reminded of that. Even if you were a co worker and not a client, the text is still very wrong. The semantics would just be different - instead of a boundary violation it would be called sexual harassment.
You can give your T a reality check without being too harsh. The next time you see him, if you feel like you can, you can start the session by saying something like "I want to address that text you sent me. I'm not going to keep rehashing it but I just want to make sure we're on the same page because it really made me uncomfortable....". It's important for him to know what your boundaries are so this can be nipped in the bud immediately. Men are often told to pursue women who are politely unresponsive because they're really just being coy. Men with his status may not believe you're not into him unless you spell it out for him, like you're talking to a child.