Personally I have come to see "dependence" in a much more positive light, but it says nothing about my long and ongoing journey. Let's say that for a long time, I had associated "dependence" with fear, weakness, pain, suffering, shame, incompetence, femininity (which again for me was weakness), childishness, lack of autonomy, vulnerability....everywhere I looked it was the idea that true men are independent, they never rely or depend on anybody, that dependence is this terrible thing that we do only when we are little.

Given that sometimes when I did depend on others, I got badly hurt (parental abuse, traumatized by a therapist), I thought there was logic to hating dependence like poison. I still find the word triggering. I don't know your personal struggles but just wanted to sympathize with feelings of anybody who for whatever reason, prefers to never depend (or need to depend) on anybody for anything.