Now that 24 hours has passed since my confrontation with my Mom, and I've regained my composure, I feel I can go into more detail about what happened, and what was discussed. I apologize in advance if I tread over some things I've already may have been said.

I mentioned about how my Mom had now all of a sudden decided that she was going to start coming to the pool with me, and that was the start of the tipping point. Friday night my pool group had all decided that we were going out for dinner before the swim, so I was planning on leaving earlier than usual. So five minutes before I'm about to leave, my Mom says, wait, I've got to run out and get some take-out before you go for dinner (for herself), don't leave until I get back. And I'm like, why? But before I could ask her that, she was out the door. I was going to leave anyway, when her friend called. She asked me where my Mom was, and I told her, and that she'll be back soon. She asked if I was going out to the pool tonight, and I said as soon as she got back, I was out the door. She asked, why do I have to wait? I replied with, you tell me? It was then I let it out all to her friend, and told her everything that's been going on, with my ex and my Mom. She said that my Mom had been telling her about what's been going on, but of course only her side of the story. She told me that she's been telling my Mom to leave me alone, that I'm a grown man, and that I need to make my own decisions in life. She can clearly see that my Mom is overstepping her bounds, and has actually been trying to help me - and this is her friend! I then told her about how hurt I'd been, and that she called my girlfriend a ***** before she had even met her, or knew anything about her. My Mom's friend was like, wow, she had it in for her alright, and it was completely unfair. It was then that my Mom had returned home, and her friend said she would call back later, and to tell her that she had called.

It really helps knowing that even my Mom's friend can clearly see what going on, and thinks it's wrong. So I ended up getting to dinner late, as I was the last one in. My ex-GF even texted me, asking where I was. But the rest of the evening was quite great. My ex and I spent the vast majority of the night side-by-side. And the little things, like her picking food off my plate, or kicking my leg if I made a crude joke. Boy, I do love those things about her, and our relationship. But at certain points during the night where we discussed things in private, I really think deep down she would like to try again, but when I look into her eyes, I see she's been hurt, and I really feel based on what we have discussed, she won't do it again. She cares about me, but won't go down that road.

So Saturday at lunch, I bring everything up. I tell her I'm hurt, and that what she did to me has just been eating me up inside, and that she had no right whatsoever to make me choose between her and my GF. I told her she judged my GF without ever really knowing her, and that I don't want her coming to the pool with me, especially under these circumstances, because I feel like she's spying on me. We talked about a lot of things, and I told her that all of my close friends had suspected for years that when I decided to start dating, she'll never approve of it. I told her she's depressed and needs help, but refused, as she believes all psychiatrists are quacks.

She started to tell me that she wants me to have a relationship, but that I need to find a certain type of girl, and not someone like my ex-GF. I told her she's living in fantasy world, that person doesn't exist, but she is insistent that I'm wrong, and this fantasy woman does exist. And then she got on about how that person MUST absolutely be a virgin, and that if I were to have sex outside of marriage, she doesn't want me in her life. I said I respect and value her opinion, but I can't do that if I'm with someone. She said if that's the case, we're through. And she brought this up several times over the course of the discussion.

I told her how hurt I was that she does things without asking, especially buying me a cemetery plot. She said it was a double-depth plot, so if I did get married, it would be there. I told her that doesn't change things; that's a huge life decision, and you made it without me. She didn't apologize for it.

Then we got back onto girls, and she started telling me about how over the years in public places, like the grocery store or restaurants we've been, where I've talked to nice girls. She said I needed to meet a girl like that. I turned it around on her and said, and what if one of those girls wasn't a virgin either? She said, then nope, you couldn't be with them.

I then asked her about her life before my Dad. I had heard stories about her boyfriend when she was younger; a hippie sounding kind of guy. She told me she ended it because her Dad (my Grandfather) didn't approve of him, and so he was gone. Mind you, my Mother was 21 years old when this happened. I asked her if Grandpa didn't like Dad, would you have ended that relationship as well? She said, yes.

I told her she didn't grow up in the puritan age, you watch television, you see how the world works, that's not how people live. Her response, that's why the world is so stupid and crazy. I told her she's extremely negative, like the world is always against her. And she said the world is against her. Mind-blowing, just mind-blowing at this point.

I asked her, what if I don't want to get married, what if I just see someone for several years; we're not supposed to be intimate? She said, no one should date several years, and that you should be married by that point. I kept telling her you're making decisions for MY LIFE, and I can't live by your rules and what you think I should be doing. Again, she said then if that's the case, I'm out the door with nothing but the clothes on my back. And everything in our house is hers, even the stuff I supposedly paid for. Regardless of when I worked, or even the part-time work I have now, she and my Dad indirectly paid for it all. She's been supporting me, and that's final. That's when I told her, make me a list, crunch the numbers and I promise to pay you back, it's the least I can do. But I said I'm not paying forever, because where does it end; baby food and diapers, the hospital bill for when I was born? She never said anything.

A lot more was said, I told her things about my GF, defended her the best that I possibly could. I don't feel as hurt, and I'm not so much angry as I am slightly aggravated. I texted my friend and told him what happened, and he agreed, she's lost her mind. It's clear more than ever, even as some have stated on this board, she's just not going to approve. Sex or no sex, virgin or no virgin, me having a relationship is a betrayal to her. And I told her that to, and she never responded.

I know moving out is for the best, but there's a lot of baggage that needs to be dealt with at home first. I know that sounds like an excuse, but believe me when I say it to be true, my friends who know me and my Mom see where we're at with things at home; a lot of stuff from when we moved, things to go through. Plus I need to stay focused on this project that's due at the end of January. I can't just pick-up and leave, I need my computer, and according to her, this computer belongs to her.

Oh yeah, she also said again she could get my phone records to see what I was texting with my GF, and she can do it. This is someone who can barely turn on the computer, let alone track down phone records that are on my name, that I pay for. Another empty threat to scare me, that's all.

And that's just it, a lot of this is really all just scare tactics to get me to conform to her lifestyle. I've made the decision that I'll obey her rules while I'm under her roof, and that I'll pay her back what I owe, as long as it's reasonable. After some of my debts are clear, and things are organized, I'm gone. And if I meet someone again down the road, and want to have a relationship with them, and she hates me for it and decides she wants me out of her life, that's her decision, not mine. I tried to be reasonable and act like an adult. But I see there's no getting through to her, there really isn't. I can tell her, her friends can tell her, my friends can tell her; nothing will work.

I'm not sad so much as disappointed that she's chosen this, but I can't do anything about it.

***I forgot to mention, I brought up "the pawing", when my girlfriend put her hand on my arm, twice during dinner with my Mom. My Mom keeps on insisting that's not how responsible adults act. Craziness.