have you considered asking her to go to couples counseling? if these issues are interfering with your relationship the likihood of success is minimal until she deals with them. it depends on how intimate your relationship is as to whether you could bring up what you see in her. i dont particularly see it as a bad thing to do. others often see things in us we are unable to see in ourselves, these are things she could work on in therapy. only you know how she would react to your feedback.