You are not a waste of a human being, I know what being depressed is, I am the same but it is also a choice. ( I know this is the last thing you want to hear). You have to make a decision not to be depressed its easier said then done I know. You have a purpose believe me you do! Christmas is the most depressing horrible time of the year for depressed folks. Stay busy that way you are not thinking, you have to turn off the emotions. God loves you also! Merry Christmas to you and I hope things get better.