For the past couple of days ive been feeling so empty and lonely, at times i will also feel angry and sad. The feelings just build up as time goes by.. i feel like everything just goes darker and darker.. everyone that i care the most just goes further and leave me all alone in the darkness while they are going to have fun. As much as i feel sad and angry about it.. i also feel like its good that they leave me cause im nothing but a burden and trouble for them.. they would be better off without me anyway.. cause im just a piece of *****, doesnt deserve to be happy and doesnt deserve anyone at all.. cause no matter how hard i try to make everyone around me happy and to be fit in.. in the end they will still leave me.. like they finally realise im nothing good to keep around.

Christmas and New Year Eve is coming closer.. this use to be my fave month where i get to spend time with someone, but now i am literally alone with no one care about me, my fiancee dumped me and dont wanna talk to me anymore cause she found another guy, my friends having fun with their own gf or fam. The closer it gets.. the more i feel so deeply empty, lonely, angry and sad.. im afraid how dark i can get and how deep i will fall into desperation when its finally here.. im afraid of what i might do