In less than a month it will be my fifth anniversiary for my self harm.

I've gone through many things and I've had many different thoughts about SI. However, the last two years I've leaned more to the "so what?" side. Fine, I get scars that will never go away - but stopping won't make the ones I have go away either. I don't really care about the scars anyway. Well, okay, I care a little - I think they look nice.

I've come so far with this I don't see it as a problem anymore. It's just some habit I have. Feeling bad? Cut! Make it bleed, see fat bubbles and laugh at how pathetic the human body is. Or laugh at how great the human body is - you can hurt it, but it will try to fix itself. How cute.

I really need help "getting back to normal". I mean, I really can't relate with all those people who see self harm as a serious problem anymore. It's a problem because I'm expected to understand their "struggles" and all that.

How do I... Well, how do I see it as a problem again? Please don't come with health arguements as I simply do not care.