Hi there honestly lying,
Reading your post, I so understand.
I've been battling Anorexia for almost 20 years and in between I've recovered but relapsed several times.
Everyday is a battle - I too suffer from depression, and I struggle daily to do the simple things.
That ongoing voice in your head telling me I'm a waste of space doesn't help.
I suffered physical and verbal abuse from my family growing up and I'm the black sheep of the family.
I have tried to forgive them but it's so hard to when I can't forget the past. I have recurring dreams/nightmares about my childhood now.