I'm so sorry This is a struggle I gave up on with T1, and I'm working through the emotional fallout with T2. The pain is immeasurable, so I can really empathize with what you are going through. Have you thought of adding a different T to the mix? Male, or a younger female that could if nothing else listen to you vent about your relationship with LCM? Being able to talk about the pain with a person that's not the source of it can be quite validating.

I agree with previous posters - it sounds like LCM loves you. No, she can't be your mom but I see nothing wrong with fantasizing as long as you realize that it is a fantasy. I often times think of current T in a mothering way, but don't feel pain with 'professional relationship' comments because I've accepted that it is what it is. When the fantasy is real in your mind, anything LCM says that conflicts with this destroys your reality. I too think LCM was doing the caring and correct thing by making sure you understood the difference between fantasy and reality. Letting you call her mom would be encouraging the fantasy. The pain in accepting this is the hard work that's going to heal you in the long run.

Keep in mind - even though LCM can't be your mom, you can still have a loving, caring, nurturing relationship with her. My children mean the world to me, and I can never be anyone else's mom, but my relationships with kids in the organization I volunteer at, other kids in my family, and younger friends are special and important to me in a completely different and very fulfilling way. This is just my opinion but I think the healthy direction with your current relationship with LCM would be slowly moving towards a mentor/mentee relationship or a pseudo-friendship.

Please take care of yourself!!!