We are meant to be getting married soon, and my life is incredibly intertwined with his. Not to say I couldn't leave but it would mean leaving the life I've built for the past ten years. It's complicated, which adds a stress for us both, I'm sure. I don't know where I would go / what I would do. There are definitely some dependency issues on my end. I truly believe he doesn't want to or mean to hurt me. We talked about it again this morning and he apologized, but I don't know. The cycle has been brutal.

Thank you all for your feedback and support. I can't tell you how much it means.