How many significant therapists have you had?
<font color="#008800"> Just beginning with one who I think is significant. She reminds me of my very first who I saw a few times but stopped. He was actually a child psychologist (which, really... fits me. lol) who my son was seeing for chemical abuse and anxiety and school issues and legal trouble. He was analytical also, although I didn't realize it at the time. That was about 13 years ago. I've had a few off and on, one several times that was helpful and we did REBT. Another one I saw for several years and then he disappeared without warning. More recently I saw Dr M, a psychologist for a few months. This new one I hope will stick around. I will if she will. </font>

How long did you spend with each?
<font color="#008800">From months to several years. Dr W, the one who was my son's T, I saw for a few sessions. Dr P who I did REBT with during one period of time I saw for several months several times. John I saw for several years (he's the one who disappeared). Cathy I saw for a few months. I suppose I should count the online person I've talked to for a long time; what we did was like therapy, or was therapy and we still talk but it isn't therapy anymore. Dr M I saw for about 2 months. My current T I have seen for 2 1/2 months. </font>

Care to share why you left? Some already have shared.
<font color="#008800">I have a hard time talking and always convince myself that I don't belong there if I can't talk. Also I have always wanted depth therapy and didn't know I wouldn't find that with the behaviorial therapists in the way I wanted. I felt like I was being conditioned when I was in treatment with them...like Pavlov's dog.. to salivate at the sound of the bell. Not that it was all a total wash. The REBT had it's good points and I still use some of it. But it wasn't what I was looking for. I left Dr M because, for one she cancelled on me every week for 4 weeks and two because after she introduced me to relaxation/guided imagery she didn't want to talk anymore and abruptly announced to me that the guided imagery would eventually become hypnosis. That rattled me. Intrigued me too, but rattled me. I wanted something different so I left and found my current T. I still think about Dr M a LOT and wish I could somehow see both. Confusing! </font>

How much time did you spend in between?
<font color="#008800">Months to years. </font>

When you left one...did you know there would be another?
<font color="#008800">lol. Well, I felt like I was a failure each time and I knew I wasn't doing any better after each, so yes I guess I knew at some point I wanted to, needed to continue. Though I had nearly given up on me til I met the person online that I talked about above. She didn't give up on me; what a gift! </font>

Anything else you would care to share here?
<font color="#008800">I still feel like a failure. How do you make therapy work if you don't feel like you deserve to be there? If you are afraid of being open? Afraid of your own thoughts. To reveal, to talk, is to give someone a way to take advantage of me and I feel like I have no defense against that. Too scary ! </font>