i always ask my dad to not drink or make him promise me in real life...and i just keep having these dreams about him breaking his promise and drinking to the point of almost death.

my dad drinking has been a big stressor in my life the past few years. even in my teens too but as some of you know my dad had a stroke a few years ago that involved alcohol. his blood/alcohol level was .46 and .5 is death. it was bad. a medical helicopter had to take him to a city hospital. and then he had one a year later.

omg
im crying bad right now because im remembering everything and these nightmares seem so real and i think hes going to die. and i try to wake up from them and i cant. my body wont wake up.

i cant take my medicine because i have to do school today.
im just going to take a xanax right now.
but that haldol will make me sleep all day and i have like a handful of assignments to do.

my emotional and mental state is completely unexpected right now.