herethennow, I know you don't want to go inpatient now because of submissions, exams.... But they don't matter as much as you and your health. Please go to the ER, and then you can give up for a bit, because you can't hurt yourself (seriously) inpatient. And take some time to breathe. Forget about studying and focus on taking care of yourself.

If they allow you to keep your phone we can chat.