I think men do so much better when they are given ways they can be "helpful" rather then just explaining to them how bad it is. Men are fixers and they just do better when they are given tools so that they can be "helpful" with problems that come up. Men are not born nurturers and they are simply not as emotionally complex as women are either.

Your husband is trying to be active and manage even though his back bothers him and that can be a lot as having back problems can be exhausting too. I think that the two of you have to learn how to be more supportive of each other as you are "both" challenged.