I, absolutely, feel for you! I use to have this thought running through my mind non-stop. I was so angry at the world that I could not see the beauty in myself or in my life so much of it was wasted for so long; I hammered myself into the ground long after and worse than my parents ever did which made it almost impossible for me to get up and feel strong again. But, in the midst of the world's misery you (we) are the flicker of light that shines brightly in the large dome of darkness.

Don't believe what your mind is telling you. I always say my mind is not my friend unless my thoughts encourage me in some way. Find a way to love yourself through self-nurturing. I hope you have a good therapist and your meds are working for you.