I, too, have a lot of guilt about things I have done. I have bipolar as well & about 9 mos. ago I overdosed. I felt such guilt & shame for putting my husband through that, but my doc has helped me realize I wasn't in my right mind & that the medication changes have helped a lot.

She asked me if I plan/need to punish myself for the rest of my life? I was doing it to myself--my husband isn't constantly berating me or anything--it's me. I don't need to "pay" for the rest of my life for behaviors I did when I was not in my right mind, but I do have to work my hardest to get into a more rational state & stay there. As a previous poster wrote, handling bipolar is a job in itself.

Take care. I can relate to what you are going through.--Suzy