Appropriate boundaries work both ways. You said that, after your father died, your mother and you decided that she should sell her farm. As a woman in her 50's, that should have been a decision of her own. Then you said that you both sold your places, which landed you both into financial hardship. So what was it that you sold? I thought you had been living in a rented apartment.

It sounds like living with your mom was what enabled you to give up a job you hated and still have a roof over your head. It sounds like you are very dependent on her. Are you sure you want to give up the security of living with her?