Last year I was diagnosed with BiPolar after being hospitalized for suicidal thoughts I was put on epival and kept on effaxor..........so far everything was going great ........I felt good again, back to my old self, changed career paths, found a new less stressful job as a teacher`s aid. I love my job, my children, my husband but all of a sudden lately I started noticing the cycles, yesterday I crashed started feeling like there was no way out .......not sure why i`m so depressed really............started cutting myself again.........getting suicide thoughts .........my husband doesn`t want to hear it or face it again.................gets upset when I talk about it...............my best friend is busy with her new grandson.................I feel sooooo alone, so scared..........I don`t think I can go through it all again after going through it already!!