I have the opposite problem. I attach immediately if I'm going to attach at all. I didn't say "I love you" as soon as I felt it because it would have seemed too soon…and I think it was too soon anyway when I ended up saying it (basically it came down to him asking me how I really felt and I wasn't going to lie). I feel unlovable right now by everyone and I guess I need to hear "I love you" just to know that I'm not some sort of unlovable monster. I figured my expectations are unrealistic, but I wanted to see what other peoples' experiences were. If it wasn't affecting our already dysfunctional sex life, I could live with it for now. Basically, we're not having sex at all because our feelings for each other are on two different levels and like I said, I feel like an unlovable subhuman. Ugh…I should probably start another thread asking how soon is too soon in a relationship to go to the sex therapist. Even if we could both say "I love you" it would still be disastrous.