They say "live and learn", so by age 44 I have learned. It took me that long, but I learned. The BS radar is in good working order now!

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A guy contacts me via LinkedIn. His first name is Michael and his last name is unusual.

His face looks sleazy to me the instant I open his profile.

I cannot put a finger on what exactly is wrong. Maybe the weird look that is not like most head shots on LinkedIn (remember this is LinkedIn and not Facebook, so you expect propriety). But sleazy.

OK, I notice that this looks sleazy but respond to the request to connect because he has qualifications similar to mine but above mine (he has more credentials, more certificates, etc).

Then a whole bunch of messages from him follow that just do not feel right, but I could not put my finger on what exactly was wrong. A little, yes, but not EXACTLY.

One little thing - e.g. I had an interview in SF and he lives in SF and used to work for that same co. where I interviewed. So he messages asking why I did not meet him after the interview. That was sort of demanding and somewhat crossing boundaries, but not fully inappropriate, so I let it slide citing being tired or something.

Another little thing - too many LI messages and texts. Why would he have so much time chatting up a woman he has never met? And the sheer volume looked suspicious, as if the guy were not working but living in the world of illusions/obsessions, if you know what I mean.

Ultimately, after a lot of back and forth, we agreed that we would meet on the 20th. I was not planning to come just to meet him - I have a rehearsal at a church in SF, where I will have a part in the church's Nativity Play. I am very excited about the Nativity Play and thought - ok, since I will be in the city anyway, I can meet him for coffee after the rehearsal.

Two days later comes a text: "What dress will you be wearing?"

That was a moment of celebration for me as I realized that my radar was right - the guy WAS sleazy - and that written communications (messages and SMS - I never talked to him) plus one head shot are sufficient to trigger the radar's LOUD BEEPING.

OK, I wait for two days not knowing what to say - since there is a possibility of my seeing him during a professional networking event, I wanted to proceed with caution, which meant waiting.

Two days later I get a message from an ANONYMOUS LinkedIn user apologizing profusely, proclaiming being horribly embarrassed because he sent me a text that was not meant for me.

I respond with "don't worry it is ok" kind of thing but pay attention to the fact that he became an ANONYMOUS LinkedIn user. I checked and his profile does not exist any more. I made searches and nothing came up. I tried "Michael" and "Mike" and even just his (unusual) last name alone - nothing.

So he basically took down the profile because of that silly incident??

Now I am feeling like Miss Marple in Agatha Christie's novels - I am on a path to unlock the secret of a crime .

So in the last 12 hours he has sent one text with "hi" and another text with "hope you got the job". I have not heard from the job and it does not matter very much - I would like to know what people in my shoes would do now, regardless of the job.

Basically, the guy is sleazy and it her were off FB or whatever, I would not be writing about him, but I will likely see him in networking events so I wonder how to best draw the boundary.

Note that he knew the name of the recruiter at the job. And a few other things he said about the job, both pros and cons, clearly indicated that he did work there. He knew so much detail and so many names that I cannot doubt that he worked there (at least I hope this is making sense and Miss Marple would have agreed ).

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What would you do? The 20th is this Saturday. I should be memorizing my lines in the Nativity Play, but I spend mental time wondering how best to proceed with the guy and would appreciate an objective view from outside.

That someone who has amassed so many professional credentials would just nix his LinkedIn profile sounds altogether crazy. I have no theory as to why he might have done it. Weird, weird, weird!

I also wonder, and perhaps someone knows about it - on LinkedIn, can you deactivate the account without losing information and contacts or not? I keep reading on this forum about folks' deactivating and reactivating their FB profiles; I wonder if the same is possible on LI. Basically, you switch to anonymous and then switch back without losing connections (LI connections are like FB friends) - is it possible? is it not possible? If that is possible, I can see how his being embarrassed caused him to temporarily go anonymous, but if it is not the case, then it means that he nixed many years' worth of accumulated connections and this is just too crazy for me to deal with even over coffee in a public place.

As an aside - with the ability to tell if a guy is sleazy and if his behavior would be unpredictable by taking a moment's look at his head shot, whom should I work for - the police or the CIA?

Maybe I am interviewing at all the wrong places... boring high tech companies...



Thanks for reading. I do not plan to respond to him until Wed or even Thursday anyway, and hope that by then I will have collected good input from different angles.