I think it's all falling apart. I feel like I'm falling apart. Everything inside is writhing and I can't do anything about it. I just don't want to live anymore I think. I feel foolish for feeling like I was better. I was wrong. IT'S ALL BAD NOW. I never want to get out of bed again. I shouldn't have tried. I torture myself. Why? Why do I torture myself?

Do I like to do this to myself? I must like to because I know it's irritating me yet I stay and let it.