Welcome to my world! I've been at least somewhat depressed since mid-October and even needed a hospital stay because I had a plan to kill myself. I'm still slightly depressed but am over the worst of it (I hope). I know how it feels to not be able to enjoy much of anything and to resent the living hell out of the disease. All I can say is, don't listen to the lies your brain is telling you---it's the illness talking and tormenting you. And this, too, shall pass. It always does.