Quote:
Originally Posted by seawhale
Many thanks dears for reply and advice.
I believe that reporting a coworker to management is the worst way to solve this kind of problems, how can I deal with him afterwards, how can we handle some common work together, and for sure he will try by every way to utilize the situation and to win the battle, then he will look as the victim and I am the guilty one, and also if he looked the guilty one, he may try to revenge somehow afterwards to take back his good look in front of managers, may be also it will end up by kidding and that I am a kid and going through a childish way
|
Seawhale we care and dont want you hurt in this situation. Thats why we all offer d advice. But we don't know your employer, its policies or your role working with this creep. So obviously any decision you make is yours.
But I'll describe my own experience as illustration. I have a history of child abuse that bullies in the workplace can sense. I tolerate their abuse more than I should, so manager assigns me to work their projects, where no one else wants to. With 3 persons I went to HR and 2 others I was asked to review them anonymously by their supervisor. I provided just facts of the abuse. All but one was fired or voluntarily found a new job. The last one left for another division and still calls to have me assigned to her projects. That feels weird.
Each incident was embarrassing and in different degrees uncomfortable encountering them in the hallway knowing they knew or suspected me of 'starting something.' But they were people with track records sabotaging others that was investigated based on my complaint and verified.
A 6th person sent an inappropriate email to a client and then called me to gloat about it. I forwarded email to VP because this can hurt business. She was counseled to make nice to client and knew immediately I'd turned her in. So she asked me to stop work on her project but thats okay I'll always have skills to carry to another project.
Someone once told me story of camping with girlfriend and in the middle of the night she had to pee. But she was scared maybe there was a bear in the woods. Boyfriend said, either you'll have to pee so bad you just go out there, or the potential bear outside will keep you waiting till daylight.
It was a great story to sort out my own dilemmas at work. I decided it was worth the post-report discomfort with bully and possible embarrassment if others heard what happened. But in fact bullies were always too embarrassed to tell others what I'd done. They presumably complained to their supervisors that I'm too sensitive and unfair but the rest of workplace had a good idea they were evil people.
So on the whole it was woth it to me to stop being a victim. Others may prefer keeping the peace. Its up to each person whats most important. Good luck and just keep believing in yourself.