Hi. You are not alone me and T have what we call 'silently squirmy' sessions where I just CAN'T make myself talk. At first it was problematic, how do you do 'talking therapy' when you can't talk? T tried a few things like playing with stones and asking about them, but as soon as we got to the discussion but the wall went back up.

I started keeping a journal which to begin with was simply a list of things I wanted to (try to) discuss. I thought it would help get past the silence which it did a tiny bit. T noticed I often doodled in my journal and invited me to draw in session, but I'm far too self-conscious for that. Instead I started drawing in preparation for sessions to illustrate my feelings. And this was great......until he asked me to elaborate verbally. Back to the silence. So the next step was for me to annotate my drawings whilst I was still in touch with that particular vein of feeling, before the self-consciousness and defence mechanisms kick in. Then if on reflection I want to alter or add to the notes I do, but it's all hand written and I leave the original version visible because sometimes discussing the alterations has proven more insightful that the rest of the imagery and notations combined.

The two hardest things are
1) not thinking about the fact that the picture and notes are going to be seen by T (in the early days some were held back until I felt more comfortable)
2) not destroying images that I feel are technically inferior or completely erasing notes I find uncomfortable in the light of day.

There are still the odd silent sessions but now the squirmyness is shared. Talking to T openly about it was the best thing I could have done. It didn't stop it but it made it more bearable and sometimes useful. It definitely brought us closer too.