((Jane)),

You are having anticipation anxiety right now, that can happen a lot with PTSD and it really takes time to learn how to manage it better.

You have been confronting your own deep challenges and as you know that brings up some very uncomfortable emotions. However Jane, you actually "can" get past this and learn how to look at others in a very different light too. What you "will" slowly learn is that when you are dealing with others that are dysfunctional, you will slowly gain in being above them in a "knowing" verses the way you had been with "unknowing and absorbing".

I had experienced an exchange this past month and it did upset me. I was taken by surprise in the way the other person responded and it was not nice either. It took me time because I had already been dealing with the fact that November is a bad month for me, full of bad memories. However, I was also able to recognized that the other individual was choosing to take a "low road" and it reflected badly on the other person. When that happens and can be triggering, it is yet another opportunity to realize that the other person is the one with the problem and to take a moment and step back and finally recognize that it is also another opportunity to learn how "not" to accept whatever it is "emotionally". From one person struggling with PTSD to another, yes, I know this is a challenge, not something others who do not struggle will be able to "validate" and "respect" either. That is what is so isolating and deeply challenging about it which is why it is so important to have access to others that "do" understand and can relate who know it is a lot of work and far from any "just".

((Jane)), I get those shakes too, I get so I am cold to my core in a different way then just being cold too. When I get that way I take a time out and sit with a space heater or even take a blow dryer or a hot shower because "heat" is relaxing and calming. It is also very helpful to take time out and free up your mind and allow yourself to stop spinning in thoughts too. And it is ok to "cry or weep" too because it helps to reduce the built up stress and slows the mind down as well.

It takes time to let go of the "I have to's" as well, because you will slowly learn that you really can let go instead of the unreasonable expectations you may put on yourself too.

It is a process ((Jane)), a slow healing process that as you take it as patiently as possible one day at a time, eventually you will recognize how much you are actually making "gains", like Mowtown is now experiencing.

Other people are going to express "issues" and it really takes time to slowly learn how to just walk past these people and not make their issues "your issues". I am not saying that is "easy" either because with PTSD, it can be quite the challenge, however, as you keep talking about it, getting support with it from others who do understand, you will continue to "heal and make gains" on it.

It is good that you are venting here as needed, you definitely deserve to be supported.