I'm stuck in a cycle of creating anniversaries of insignificant but crappy events and hoping that as such an anniversary passes it will mark the start if a new and better era for me. Last week was a year since I had a concussion, so quite a big event in reality, but on the anniversary day my boss was absolutely vile to me, so no it wasn't a new era, just the same old, same old.

Today was a month since my dog stole my dinner, an insignificant event but a disaster at the time. I was pretty miserable for most of the day, my boss gave me tasks to do that he knows will trigger me. I almost had a panic attack because I got pins and needles in my foot and couldn't walk and for a few seconds I thought I was paralysed. I have a cold that is making me dizzy. I'm convinced my chest pains are heart problems. As anniversaries go it was a nightmare, on the plus side I went to a christmas concert that was enjoyable.

I feel so completely stupid getting obsessed by dates and events, it is a pointless way of thinking, I'll keep finding "bad" events, ruminate on them, and look for more bad stuff to "prove" to myself that bad stuff just keeps on happening. Why, why do I do this when I know it is damaging?

Really I should just think, nice concert and well done you, controlling a panic attack isn't easy.