I don't know if this falls under the topic of "Erotic" Transference...by maybe it does...

....it might be more under the "I Need Love From Somewhere" topic ....with the transference and/or projection of that need onto the main individual who really "fits the bill": the therapist. the therapist who (if they are really connecting like they are "supposed to") listens, exhibits genuine empathy and concern, who wants the best for you, who knows you are there, notices you and tries to genuinely see you as being as good as you are faults and all. the fact they stick around you with your "faults and all" seems to be the capper on seeing them as someone to "fit the bill".

maybe it merely just exhibits and rouses what is in our cores and our emotional reaction is a signal that this is the "kind" of love we do need...not necessarily from the therapist...but in the world in general. it is like a gentle (or maybe not so gentle) nudge that is like: "hey...hey...see what you are feeling right now? this is the good stuff...this is what you deserve. so you can recognize it when it comes from others). i dunno...not sure if that makes any sense.

for some, that need for "love" gets confused with "sex/erotic thoughts" (I know that has been part of my issues). i.e. sex = love

oftentimes when i think of others....i usually bring in music and songs that remind of them. I don't know if it is a good thing or not...but i do it.

In a previous thread I mentioned a song by Sarah McLachlan and for some reason I want to post the full lyrics here. Because I tend to attach and attach songs to people, this is one I sort of attached to my therapist. The bold-faced parts are the parts I most think of when I think of my T.

Am I crazy? Feels like I'm the only one who links songs to people all the time.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

Sweet Surrender
by Sarah McLachlan

It doesn't mean much
it doesn't mean anything at all
the life I've left behind me
is a cold room
I've crossed the last line
from where I can't return
where every step I took in faith
betrayed me
and led me from my home

And sweet surrender
is all that I have to give </quote>

You take me in
no questions asked
you strip away the ugliness
that surrounds me
(who are you?)
are you an angel?
am I already that gone?
I only hope
that I won't disappoint you
when I'm down here
on my knees

(who are you?)
And sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

(who are you?)
sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

And I don't understand
by the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall

I miss the little things
I miss everything (about you)

It doesn't mean much
it doesn't mean anything at all
the life I left behind me
is a cold room

(who are you?)
And sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

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