Quote:
Originally Posted by Shriveled Muse
It is definitely lack of experience. I do have self-doubt but I don't think it is so imposing that I am ignoring signs. I suppose just the general vibe I get from him is much different than the other guys that have approached me with a clear intent of liking me. When he says stuff like how he doesn't care about me, I assume that he's joking, but really I can't tell if he's serious or not. To be honest, I always thought that him brushing hair out of my face was just a mild ocd trait of his and nothing more. Additionally, I thought his stares were just either out of boredom or him just being a pervert.
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I did not even consider the possibility of OCD...
... without OCD as a hypothesis, the gesture with the hair is endearing and speaks louder than words. I do not think that talking to him would make any sense, because by asking him, you would learn what he chooses to tell you, and not his true feelings - people for a variety of reasons do not talk about their feelings when asked. So without the OCD I'd say just let it unfold because he obviously likes you and the gesture is his way of saying this without self-censorship. If you ask him, he might give you a self-censored response and then you would be more confused than you were before you asked.
But if he has OCD... well, let us see.. what other OCD behaviors did you notice? Did he wipe the kitchen counters that are clean?
In re: his possibly looking at you is boredom or his being perverted. I am not sure I can follow your train of thought.
If a young man is bored, he plays with this smart phone, but not gives his female friend long, pensive looks which he tries to hide. I keep reading about older people being pissed off at their children because the children (young people) cannot sit through a casual lunch without looking at their phones. We are told that the world is at risk of disconnect - what if 5 years from now people would only instant-message and never talk in person? And against this grim background we have the friend of yours who is actually for real looking at a live person who is his friend and not over Skype.
I would say that it is a cause for celebration. I mean - you have a guy who looks at you, is interested in you, knows how to be facetious/cynical/joking etc., and
is not glued to the screen As a conversation partner and not necessarily a bf, by modern standards the guy is literally worth his weight in gold.
About perversion I simply could not understand how that could be, or, what you define by perversion because different people use this word in vastly different ways. This word is also used in a purely pejorative way without any meaning. Given that this is such a nuance-laden term, could you clarify what YOU meant by it?