It sounds to me as though you are just now coming to see the reality of the situation, and you're trying to still get what you can out of the relationship. Like...you're trying to bargain. But, part of you is also aware that your cousin is unwilling to "give a little".

That is sad. I'm sorry. I wish that we wouldn't need to have these sad and cruel truths to deal with in life, but, we do. The Q is: How willing are you able to give to this relationship, without hurting yourself (your values) in the process?