All my life all I wanted was to be loved as deeply as I love. The problem is that once someone starts falling for me, no matter what my feelings are for that person, I shut down and run as fast as I can. I don't understand why I cannot let myself be happy. I have been married for 7 years and now that he is finally showing me the love and respect I want-- I want out. It is almost like a challenge to make some one love me and then even though I love them so much, I don't want them anymore. I just do not understand why I am this way. I want love till I have it and then I run. I feel like it has something to do with my grandfather and how I was raised but I have been through therapy for the abuse I indored and thought I was ok. I don't want to be this way. I want to be able to have healthy relationship without running.
Please help me or at least let me know I am not alone.