I don't know that there's been a rise in domestic abuse, I think there's always been abuse of women only now it's a reportable thing. Women have been treated like slaves throughout history, just in the last 100 years have women had any semblance of equality.

I read 50 shades and yes it's poorly written, but it's not about rape and abuse. It's about women who consent to BDSM practices. For someone like your wife who is not into it, consenting to be whipped etc during sex probably sounds awful. But, for most of us ladies it is a huge turn on. In the bedroom most women want to be dominated by a stronger man, and there is something very sexy about being so passionately desired by a man. I do think that domestic abuse and BDSM are very different though, mainly in BDSm there are safe words and it's done consentually.