I feel your pain. My husband is an ok guy but he doesn't give me what I need, which is human connection. He is very withholding of his feelings and it makes me feel isolated and alone. Really a relationship should be one place where you can express your feelings and "be heard" and have that shared sense of connectedness at least sometimes. I really crave that.

My husband also doesn't seem to get my depression. Maybe it is a hard thing to really get, but I do know it can feel very lonely in these kinds of relationships. When I've been in the depths of my depression, feeling suicidal, it seems like it's when he steps back from me the most, almost like throwing fuel on the fire.

If you cant get him in couples counseling at least you can take yourself. You'll get that feeling of connectedness with a good therapist. If he's unwilling to work on the relationship it might be time to go. I'm still wading through the reality I might need to find someone else myself. I might just not be cut out for this kind of emotionless marriage, even though I grew up in a house like this, maybe I just want more for myself.