rehab just called

they are still trying to decide if i fit in the program ......but the lady is nice and trying to help me she is looking up some info and trying to find a program that i could go into and still have the CBDs that help me ......rigt now the cbds and the few good pills the hospital gave me is what is holding me together.......the meds the pdoc gave me do nothing i feel no different if anything i feel worst because the date is coming up and i got nothing no saving grace to hang my hopes on

she still does not think i need it but understands it is to make the government happy

got the talk lady doctor today .....worried about that because i am pretty sure the rehab lady is going to tell her what i said the other night

i made a choice .........if they do lock me up i am doing gitmo no food no water and be dead with in a few days ..............as a living creature i have 2 choices to adapt to my environment or die off .........my choice is death i do not want to be like those ppl and to live there i would have to become like them ........with my head it will becomes second nature and i will be that on the outside ......no longer me well me that i hold value in

since i am usa citizen i still have a few rights even locked up so i can refuse medical attention not like gitmo where they strap them down force feed them and pump iv fluids in

it is the only choice i have left i done everything i can ........this life is basically wrecked if they lock me down i would be 40 coming out with no hope of a job anywhere

miss mom (sorry did not want to miss spell your kids name and make u angry)
getting a little note book to do what u said will pick it up from foodlion when i stop and grab a sub for my meal for the day ....thanks for the idea