So since the week before Thanksgiving, I have been pretty much blown away from some right in my face rejection. I posted about how my sis called me a few days before T-day and told me she did not want me or my family to come to her house. She said it in a round about way but I got the message. It was not my imagination. It caused us all to have a bad holiday, almost unbearable. Still dealing with that.

So a new 'friend' of mine and I talked yesterday. I called her and we planned to have lunch today. She was to call me at a certain time, that was 4 hours ago. She is working but has never bothered to call me. I am puzzled. I spent a lot of time thinking about cooking lunch for us and taking it to her, I think if I talk to her I will tell her that I did in fact cook a special lunch but she never showed up. I guess I am really hurt. I've been teary eyed all day. Maybe something happened or she forgot, but I doubt that.

I immediately start 'talking' negative to myself, calling myself a stupid idiot, moron, piece of crap and no one would ever want to be my friend. My own sister dumped me after all! I cannot express how much I feel devastated by this and it has consumed my whole day, making it miserable. Seems that no one truly wants to spend any time with me but my son and he no longer brings the grandchildren to visit. I am way too sensitive and emotional to live like this. It makes me truly hate my existence anymore.