Let me start by saying for anyone that doesn't know me or my history, that I'm not a physicist and so have only a basic grasp of quantum mechanics. Anyway I had an epiphany last week about Schroedinger’s cat and how I feel it relates to my obsession with finding my truth. For those who haven’t heard of it: there’s a cat in a box with a vial of poison that could open at any moment, and we can’t know if the poison has killed the cat yet or not without opening the box, so until we open the box, the cat is both alive and dead.

Now when I first heard about it a while ago, I struggled to understand and thought that the cat is either dead or alive, and we just don’t know which option until we open the box. So there is a truth that can only be discovered on examination of the box contents. And I thought I was the same and I just had to examine myself closely to figure out the truth.

Anyway, last week I was thinking about how conflicted I am, thinking opposite things at the same time, and searching for the truth as if it is a tangible thing, and it made me think of Shroedinger's cat. And what I realised was that I AM SCHROEDINGER’S CAT!!!

Quantum mechanics says that we can never know with any certainty how an atom will behave naturally because the second we examine it, we alter it. Observation isn't passive: it exerts an effect. And physicists who study quantum mechanics think that reality, at it's deepest level, is really just the response of the observer. And that’s the same with people because observers influence us and they can force us to fit in their box by projecting their beliefs about us onto us.

So back to me being Schroedinger's cat: I thought that I was EITHER a fraud OR ill and I just had to figure out the 'truth'...but maybe I am BOTH a fraud AND ill until somebody observes me and makes me momentarily choose one option...? So if I am both, then I am also neither and there is no ‘truth’.

Now the point of my posting was that T today said (about something slightly different, but I feel it’s related) that I could choose to pick a lie that made me feel better over a lie that made me feel worse, but I don’t know if that could work in reality?? If there is no truth, then I could theoretically choose to operate under the last lie that made my life make sense to me BUT:

1) Is that moral? (Am I still stuck in duality: truth vs lie, moral vs immoral thinking? If there is no truth, then can one lie be ‘better’ than another?)

2) Practically, how do I tell myself that my chosen lie is now my truth, and feel like I did before when I thought it was the (real) truth?

Any insight appreciated.

*Willow*