RB
You sure do have a lot on your plate right now. I can relate insofar as having a lot of stress and chaos in many of the very same areas. The biggest challenge is trying not to ruminate and project the future. Because when not in a good place, those projections are going to look pretty bleak. BUT. In such times our thinking gets distorted. I know how hard it is to believe such a thing at the time because it feels so VERY logical and obvious. I know that I don't(!) More like, "yeah, right" (roll eyes and think… You don't get it. I do see, and know this is how it will be.)

Despite how stubborn I, myself, am with doing that very thing (and in spades), I'm still going to say to you that it won't be all darkness and bad outcomes. Yes, that kind of makes me a hypocrite, but it's what we have to do for each other -- fellow BPers who really do get it -- taking turns accordingly with where we are on the wheel, reminding each other that it won't always be that way. There is a way through and there are good things that can happen. And they don't just happen for other people, that they can, and will, for YOU, too. It sucks when we can't see it for ourselves, so we just have to trust and remember that these aren't just Sparky McSunshines saying this. (Heh. Just made that name up, hope you like it. You know the type though…. never been through hell and back… and think everything is glittered unicorns….), It's Our People.

I've been holding pretty steady over here, but still battling bouts of seriously negative rumination. The worst and hopelessness of everything. It just loops over and over. And over. They say to try to think of what you'd say if a friend were in your place. Because I hear a lot of myself in what you say, I will think of you, ok? I can see the lines of thinking when you are saying it that I can't really see (or believe, more like) of my own thinking, even though it is like a mirror(!) Is this making any sense? You can do that too if you like. IZ rumination all falls under that which would bring on a response of "ye gawds!" if that is any help. You'd see the thought lines in an instant.

as always...

(I have to ask -- what is TL;DR? It's the second time I've seen it, and the first time, I thought they'd made a typo, but now realize it is something. Question is… what? )