Quote:
Originally Posted by SqrqhJean
Hmm, I guess my answer to your question would be no. Though I wish it were so. But I guess that's part of growing up. Realizing life is not a fantasy.
And I see your point that I engaged in temporary monogamy.. Hmm.. It really makes me think. . The moving on really wasn't ever completely my choice, I had to, it's just something a sane person does after being broken up with..
I guess I was just wondering if there are any like minded individuals out there who don't cheat on their current partner. (I'd like that assurance.)
My step-grandparents got married when they were 18 and have been together for like 60 years now. I think that's awesome. Not sure if they've cheated on one another at all or if it would be relevant now. So there's that. (:
|
Both sides - my late paternal grandparents and my late maternal grandparents - were married for 50-60 years. They lived happily. Was there anything involved some 40 years ago? Like you, I do not believe that it would be relevant now. What was relevant was that they loved each other until death. My paternal grandma survived her husband by only 2 weeks - just faded away. So I have my own fairy tale story of till death do us part in the family. I think it is beautiful, but, I do not think it has to be a goal for everybody. Not just because it would not be realistic but also because to me monogamy is beautiful when it is virtually effortless - people genuinely happy with each other. When I read about couples going through years of counseling (I have a friend who has done years of counseling with his wife, in RL), I cannot help thinking - if being together needs so much professional support, it is just not worth it. Being together should not feel so straining to people.
I have also thought more about the fairy tales and this is what I have come up with to my own surprise:
- Disney made the fairy tales sappy, so it appears that Disney princesses never tasted real life
- the real fairy tales are not sappy
- the real fairy tales are about people who overcome obstacles and hardships, suffer from injustices, do good deeds, help those in need, appreciate genuine beauty rather than fanciful glitter, look past superficial hideousness and straight into the soul, are brave, honest, and authentic
- and at the end the sacrifices of the protagonists are rewarded and the "happily ever after" is the symbolic representation of the reward - to Cinderella, for her quiet sacrifices, eternal patience, love for her dad, and a big heart (and not just tiny feet), the Prince who realized that modest and fresh-looking Cinderella and not a myriad of conceited society dames was the true gem; in other fairy tales, the reward is for something else, but it is never just something that is given to anybody by virtue of their having reached the age of marriageability.
- so the fairy tales are not about lifetime monogamy for everyone - they are about a rare gift of love till death do us part that needs to be deserved - say, if a protagonist male in a Greek myth were to shirk his duties and not slay a vicious sea monster, well, he would not have married Andromeda
***
Disney removed the content, leaving the shell intact, and the shell is glittery. Also, remember that the real little mermaid died and God made her into sea foam (I might be rusty on the details but she did not get to marry her prince - he married another woman). There was a poignant Japanese cartoon made in the 70s that was true to the story. It is a beautiful as it is profoundly sad. But Disney made the story into one with a happy end. I would say on this particular tale, Disney raped Hans Christian Andersen's soul.