Patty, doesn't it go back to trust? You've been hurt badly and so trusting anyone, at this stage, is pretty doubtful. I have a male friend who tells me that my cynicism, towards men, is awful. I think a healthy dose of it actually helps me. I got my heart torn out and stomped and I don't think that I'll go there again.

About the sex toys, do whatever makes you comfortable. In this day and age, almost everyone has one or two. It could also be that loving yourself will help you return to a sense of sexuality. I don't know. I'm confused myself, why am I giving advice?