I guess my question is answered. We finally sat down and talked about our true visions of where our relationship is going and decided the things we want (or don't want) are too different. No matter how good it all looked on paper it just wasn't meant to be or was too complicated by the way we fit together.

I'm not looking forward to the grieving period and will have to be extra mindful of my tendencies to codependently blame myself for her grief.