I understand where you're coming from, and I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. It is the unknown that we fear, because no one really knows for absolute certainty what happens after death. It is not silly for you to feel this way; many people are scared of dying and it's perfectly normal to fear death.

As a Christian who struggles with his faith, I believe that using hell in order to scare people into submission is one of the most irreligious things one can do. Not only is it controlling and abusive, but the idea of hell as a place of eternal torment was NOT in the original Bible at all. People, especially the Roman Catholic Church many hundred years ago, have twisted the Bible so much over the years that who knows what was originally written.

All the same, many people would miss your departure from this world if you committed suicide. I hope you continue posting and wish you well.