Forced myself to go to lunch with family. I ate pretty well and I didn't get full.
I went to my martial arts class. I really struggled to focus but I felt it was better to go.
And I'm still as depressed as before, but instead of staying in bed, I'm outside. And the possibilities.

I've realized that going to the ER would be pointless. That going inpatient would be even more pointless and I don't know if I'm still covered for a stay anyway. And maybe I am back to cycling between hyperness and depression. There is an up to look forward to. But I just do not see it. And the thoughts are tiring me out.

So I'm waiting to see a friend. I don't know how much of an act I'll put up; if there's a group of us I'll have to. But why bother people with my stupid problems?

I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow instead of next week. When I saw her on Monday things were great. Now they're back to how they were last week.

Everyone is studying for exams. Me? Useless.